Monday, November 08, 2004

blog..so i thought maybe i will do the same..frankly speaking this
holiday is so boring.....i dun feel like going out...not tt im sad
like las time..but rather really DUN HAVE THE MOOD> go out alos
nothing to do..MOVIE TITLE sux....no1 wan to play pool....shopping
boring..wat can i do le? really wandering aimlessly in this holiday
except im forced to do mine FYP...haiz..
Las sat went to ktv with mine sec sch friends..erm..las time
pang seh them too much due to something..so i try to compensate by
going lar..erm the ktv was fun lar since it was our 1st time
today..but hor lot 1 kbox rm so small..and tiny..i wouldnt say it
is cosy lor..not long for mine whole body to lie..haahhaa tt day i
was also quite tired lar cos i sleep for 3 hrs only..anyway..its ok
lar..sleep less also wont die...........erm so now back to my
aimless life wondering wat would go on in future............

Saturday, October 30, 2004

waste...so..here i am trying to figure something to blog=(...........erm....now i dun
really feel so upset about my project..maybe im used to it le ...haiz..wat else to say
le......for the past few days, i dun feel like doing anything.......not reading..not
watching tv.....not playing xbox even though it is back..i juz dun feel like doing
anything.......Y I BECOME LIKE THIS? i rather do something else so that i will not
be so bored......i wan to learn something new..but i juz not really..in the mood to
learn anything......this is really bad..but luckily i have found 2 "New" friends
lar........1st is mine sec sch friend whom i had not been in contact with for 2
YRS!......finally he contac mi directly after exam...such gd timing!...............haha he is
a friend whom i can talk anything with..a very insensitive and fun friend.........but las
time..we had our up and down...he sort of betrayed mi before..but
i also take advantage of him sometime..so we CHE PING lor..now we older and
sensible i dun really mind the past.....he is definitely 1 of my better friends whom i can
share mine inner woe .......another friend named M actually..i noe M for 1 yr..but we
didnt really communicate lar......but becos of some arrangment ..maybe its fate lar....i
get to communicate with M recently..and i really start to noe more about M..M is
really
nice....loyal....sensible....mature.....responsible....sentimental.....clever....friend..im
glad to have such GREAT friend...........haha im not advertising M lar but..M is really
tt nice lar! In life what else can be better than finding friend who u can communicate
freely.....a friend whom u wan to share ur trouble and happiness with..........a person
who will be there to support u when ur life is not smooth........this is definitely better
than having alot of friend in which none is actually close to u..i cant really understand
y some ppls wan to make so many friends for wat..I have a friend like tt lor..i dun
understand his mindset lar. In life it is very fair and balanced..u win
some..next u will definitely lose some....but is shown in an very indirect way..but if u
look at the big picture uwill noe wat i mean..haha sorry to make it so
complicated.... in the past i complain about y im unable to communicate
with other..i now noe y le..maybe we are juz too different type of ppls..las time to
accomodate other..to make ppls feel comfortable..i will talk alot..but in the end i
really feel tt im forcing thing too much tt it become an 1 sided
conversation..maybe both of us juz dun have the affinity to communicate well..so
now..to make myself happy..i juz stick to ppls whom i can really communicate....and
not those..whom i thought i could communicate with but actually the opposite..i gues
this will really make mine life much more easier and stress free...........

Monday, October 25, 2004

hell for mi...due to the exam ba....i only got 1 day to study for each module..and
each module so damned hardcore..really scared i will fail le............haiz lately i
have been staying at home..to explore my new phone....very fun le much better
than mine previous samsung v200..nice to c..but so boring ..no function 1..mine
present phone can listen to music..play java game..WATCH MTV (IM not
jking!).........take video cam...can even surf the net..but very expensive and time
consuming..u c lor..countless function..really worth every penny..but now i tink of
another sad thing...my FYP..i really very pissed lor..i hate my partner ..she sux big
time man..got alot of underlying reason ahh.............really le 1st time i really go
and hate ppls lor..becos in the pas i always thought making 1 more friend is much
better than making 1 more enemy..ya but this time i really cannot tahan le..she
really pissed the hell out of mi..although in front of her i act like heck care..but i
dun treat her as enemy but rather i ..will bochap her lor..dun noe wat have i
done to deserve all these!!!!!!!!!............i noe i pon alot of lesson and attachment
las sem...and she pon alot in the las previous sem..this doesnt give any reason for
us to be together.....so..a bad project topic plus worst partner in the world=im
fucked up!........................hey at least when exam time nearing..i will go study 1 le
and make sure dun fail any module..but she le...seriously i really feel insulted
doing with her man.................she always whine to the lecturer asking for more
time to do proj..so is she the only 1 who have to hand in...NONO! so she shld SHUT
THE FUCK UP............wat if she adopt..this attitude in our FYP!!!!!...whoa i tink
she already show some attitude already..do anything dun let mi noe..until las
min..she no time..or find it difficult to do becos too much..also neber take
initative to ask mi to do..hey it not like i waiting for her to ask mi to do..i ask her
everytime on how she is progressing..so tt the later part i can take over..everytime
she say neber finished..im the type who trust in mine partner and dun pressurise
them..even though she had a bad record las sem..but since some1 say she changed
for the better i believed in..it ..so this is the result i get...i REALLY learn mine
lesson ! so now i have to do everything myself..sometime i wonder..got partner
like dun have ..lor..haiz..this holiday is supposed to be a las memorable holiday
for mi...but now have to spend time..to do proj..i really blame myself......alot! y am
i so stupid?

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

sch....didnt manage to come to the morning class becos i was sick but i still
manage to get well enuff for the noon lesson........when i saw mine friends i
suddenly realise..im like nothing much to talk to them..they also nothing much to
talk to mi..i also like no mood to talk..this is definitely not the true mi..im
actually a person who like to talk and crap with friends..but yesterday i m like
different world from mine classmate..and there seem to be some sort of "gap"
between mi and them...........or maybe i shld revert back to las sem "me"..las sem
"me" always pon lesson and stay at home to play games..erm maybe u all tink
tt ..like tt confirm very boring..since i didnt maintain much contact with
classmates and always stay at home..but tt time i tink i dun have so much FAN
NAO.........and quite enjoy the my stay at home as i immersed myself in the games
tt i play..and shows i watch but at times i still felt tt i need some1 to talk to..but i
still manage to cope being by myself only..but this sem..although now i maintain
alot of contact with mine classmate and mine sec sch mates..i still felt something
lacking..im not sure wat issit..but i can say lar im definitely happier in this sem
than las sem..but now...maybe becos im at attachment alone most of the time..and
once im left alone hor..i will be like revert back to the shy shy..quiet..nothing to
talk much person..and it will certainly took mi a long while for mi to beome
comfortable and talk alot..and i had the bad feeling tt..some1 in class dun wan to
talk to mi..tink i offend quite alot of ppls..that's juz mine instinct..but i really had
the strong feeling..hope all these negative feelling will disappear after
exams..sorry lar to write so many sad things again..but my life is juz like
this .................

Saturday, September 25, 2004


what i have done today..wake up at 9..then surf some net and had to went back to
NUH for project..everything go quite smoothly..except tt the stupid red cell
washing machine delay mine departure by 30 mins..anyway as long can finish this
longy prac im happy already.. All this while..i had been thinking about alot of
things..for example communication..i find it really hard to communicate with
ppls nowaday..las time in sec sch..talking is really easy and relaxing..i juz talk
wat's come to mind..we talk we joke about anything under the sun..but now
presently..i find talking quite a chore..most often than not i have to tink of wat to
talk 1st..perhaps las time becos i always hang with guys and now is the direct
opp..face mostly gals now..but i dun tink tt is the major reason..NOW im seriously
tinking....could it be im much more sensitive now????..........for example las time
in sec sch i tink i will talk non- stop for 2 hr crapping alot..when i talk i will tink
of alot of factor juding the way the person look(does he/she look bored or wat)
him/her type of response..are we having a 1 sided talking conversation..does i talk
and behave too immaturely....all these will definitely linger around mine head
when im talking..most often than not i will wait for other ppls to initate the
conversation now..perhap im not a very confident person..or issit becos mine
class ppls too passive...all waiting for some1 to initate the conversation..i find
this type of conversation and interacting very tiring
le..seriously speaking abit sick of all these..maybe we are all too different ppls
each with diff hobby?..maybe they dun like talking to mi?..maybe becos we dun c
each other too much so nothing to talk?.....there 's tons and tons of
possibilty............and by the time i figured out all the possibilities i will be brain
dead..AM i really making life too hard for mi? how i wish im a simple person..no
need to tink so much..maybe im too
sensitive to wat ppls tink of mi....HOW I WISH i could go back to secondary
school times when that 's the most orginal and natural mi..maybe i will find out
the answer in the near future....................or shld i seriously considering going to
some classes for effective communication or issit time for mi to change my
personality..hope i can get some guidance soon................................

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

to pasir ris polyclinic without being late..so as a result.....i was late for 1 hr..but luckily
the staff there didnt reproach mi..erm i feel so bad and ashamed..today quite a bad
day..dun noe whether i cannot concentrate or im feeling tired..missed a couple of
veins..but the staff there keep asking mi to try more to gain more experience ..i felt
so.....welcomed and comfortable there......today 1st time taking baby blood..hah not
very enjoyable le hearing the baby orr..ei......orr ei...haha pretty cruel rite..went to
tampines mall for lunch..i really tink hor..tampines mall is the best shopping mall in
singapore..excluding shopping centre in orchard lar...tampine mall had alot of
shop..levi..breadtalk..fish and co..lots lots more..........too bad i only had like 2o mins
to shop there hehe..and hor as a result went back to the lab late at 2.30pm..and
mostly do bloodtaking..and as usual leave home at 4.30..today i take another route
home..instead of taking "2h" 67 ..i take 969 to woodland terminal then take 187
home..pretty troublesome rite..but well take shorter time mah..
The feeling at pasir ris so far had been great........but pretty contradicting..i like the
idea of wandering around the new area..exploring each part of it..can go to tampines
mall ahh..white sand and simei...so much freedom..but on the other hand hope
there's another gd friend with mi to enjoy the exploring ..which shld be pretty exciting
hehe..well i gotta go to sleep now..or else tomolo be late again........

Sunday, September 19, 2004

have done for the last 3 days..on friday..i was posted to pasir ris polyclinic for the
1st time..i went out at 6am..take 1 bus to woodland terminal...take another bus to
tampines terminal..then take mrt to pasir ris to pasir ris terminal then take
another bus and finally reached the polyclinic..In the end i reached there at 8.15
(LATE!).........the lab was located in the third storey...my 1st impression..was the
NHG was bigger than jurong polyclinic..very pleasant looking and new..at tt time
there are quite a number of patients in the lab already..i report to the
supervisor..then asked to do some bloodtaking and ECG.....during lunch time i
went downstair to the neighbourhood to eat..actually i wan to buy some food and
bring back to the lab to eat..in the end i was locked out and have to sit outside the
lab....(look stupid lor and the place was dark).......afternoon time..not many
patients..and the lab staff took time to teach mi new stuff...actually a lot of things
are already learnt in SGH..ohh well..haha......then i make my way home..las time
my friend told mi neber to take 67 from tampines to cck..but i neber believe..now i
do..i nearly puke lor...the whole ride took about 2hr..and the glass window was
dot tainted..so cannot even c outside clearly..feel quite sick..so mine whole day
bus journey took about 4 hrs..hahaha............
On SAT..nothing worth mentioning..except i went to my father shop to help
out..and GOT a new converse bag..really nice looking..not too big or small..but the
drawback was its quite girly lor..hehe..
on SUNDAY......haiz..actually we had a grp of 5 sunday sentosa trip..but sat 1 of
them suddenly not going..then suddenly had a bad feeling then another will not
be going..then on sunday itself..i prepare myself everything for the trip(ready to
set off le)..then unfortunately...received the bad news that she was unwell to
go..weep!...so now left only 1 gal 2 guy...in the end the gal also didnt go..then the
other guy(organiser) ask mi whether i still wan to go..erm in the end i still
accompany him becos he need to buy something..then sitting in the bus 188 to
haberfront...a grp of gals talking happily on wat they going to do in sentosa..then i
was like...tink u noe how i feel............in the end 2 of us had a really nice chat
together when we taking our breakfast at mac...then we went shopping lor...about
2 hrs also...and reached home at 2.50 ..definitely much earlier than wat i
expect...erm..ya i admit initally i was so so disappointed .....and sad..that all
these happen..but after the chat and shopping ..i feel much much better..but a bit
of disappointment was still unavoidable..the other guy feel much worse lor..since
he is the organiser and this is the worst thing that can happen to an outing
trip..nvm lar..1st time going out and having a nice talk with him make us feel
more closer lor..since for the past 1 yr..neber really sit down and have a close chat
with him..............and i understand his disappointment........oh well i comfort
myself there always a next time..i hope tomolo can hear some rumour (gd news )
on..no need to go back to pasir ris polyclinic for attachment..although the staff
there nice to mi but the long distance taking a toll on mi..and hope to have a nice
rest on wed..so..wish mi gd luck tomolo(will noe whether rumour true or not
tomolo!)
